Hearts get Harder
by Gr8BigNerd
Summary: The story centers on Cuddy and Chase, and their respective relationships with House and Cameron. It is Chuddy and it will eventually be somewhat smutty...
1. Chapter 1

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**Hearts get Harder**

_A/N: I've been having a lot of trouble with my Huddy fic the few weeks and decided that I should take a bit of a break from it...I'm not giving up, just taking a break...and this is something I thought I'd have fun with in the mean time...._

_The story centers on Cuddy and Chase, and their respective relationships with House and Cameron. It is Chuddy and it will eventually be somewhat smutty so if you don't get down with that don't even bother. Everyone else, I hope you enjoy and please leave me a review to help keep this rolling =)_

_Also...Some slight spoilers for season 6 but very minor and I kind of put my own spin on them...  
_

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Prologue: 

CUDDY:

It's a strange thing when your life turns out just the way you want. Perfect job, perfect child, and now the most perfect love with an imperfect man. When House came back it was easy to fall into old routines. He struggled but something had softened in him, something that was imperceptible to anyone except for those who knew him best. And when you said to him _now or never_, _all or nothing_, the speed with which he chose _all and now_ nearly floored you.

Except that when the endorphins wear off and the fairytale ends, what you're left with is a real life that presses down on you in every direction. And a man who at his core will never really change. You used to tell yourself that you loved that about him, but when you saw he was in pain and he closed the door in your face as you reached out to hold him, you knew. That man will never truly open his heart to you.

CHASE:

You used to be so jealous of him. You used to want to take away everything he had. Even though, in many ways, he was the only man you ever really looked up to. The only man whose approval ever mattered. He wasn't there on the day you and Cameron married, and in the back of your mind you wondered, would she go through with it if she knew he were watching?

No one had the power to hurt you the way she did. And she did. She hurt you every time she got the chance. With sex, with House, with sperm. Now, as the two of you sit side by side around the old conference table, staring at a white board full of symptoms and House in the corner offering no real opinion, she's ready to hurt you all over again.

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Chapter 1:

Cuddy crossed her legs and looked up from her monitor as Chase tapped on her office door and she waved him in. He looked tense and upset but as soon as his eyes hit the mess of papers, crayons, and toys littering the office floor with Rachel perched on her bottom in the middle of the pile, his lips formed a soft smile.

"Redecorating?" He asked Cuddy, his eyebrows lifted in amusement.

"My nanny's sick," she said. "What's up?"

Chase closed the door behind him and took a seat in front of her. "I need a favor." Rachel half crawled, half scooted over to his chair and grabbed a hold of his leg. Chase looked down at her, and before Cuddy could get up, Chase scooped her into his arms and sat her in his lap. "She's just saying hi," he told Cuddy. "She's fine."

Cuddy smiled slightly and nodded. "What favor? I can't send you back to surgery yet, I'm sorry, but House isn't ready to come back for real and—"

"Actually," Chase interrupted her. "I was hoping we could make my spot on the team more permanent." Chase looked away from Cuddy and down at Rachel who had settled peacefully in his arms. He thought about Cameron and her dead husband's sperm and wondered when, if ever, he would be ready to have a child with her. He didn't hear Cuddy who had been trying to get his attention. "What?"

"I said why do you want to be back on the team?"

"Does the reason matter?"

Cuddy considered this for a moment and then, "Yeah it does. Is it because of Cameron? Does she want back on the team now too?"

"No," Chase said firmly. "I'm an opportunist, remember? With House no longer in charge I might actually be able to make a name for myself in that department."

Cuddy raised her eyebrows. "That's not the reason Chase, and don't think I'm going to help you if you lie to me." He clinched his jaw but didn't answer. "Does Cameron know you want to go back?"

Chase shook his head. "I haven't told her yet," he whispered.

Cuddy stood up and came around the desk, leaning on it in front of him and picking up her daughter who had reached out for her. She placed her free hand on Chase's shoulder and the shock of her touch furrowed through him. He looked up at her immediately, and a stray lock of blond hair fell over his eyes.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Cuddy felt awkward asking; she didn't know them well enough to get so personal, but he seemed genuinely upset and she wanted to know why.

"We're fine."

"More lying?" Cuddy moved her hand off his shoulder and walked Rachel over to the play-pin set up next to the desk. She turned back to Chase, deciding that it wasn't really any of her business, but she'd need to talk to House first. "I'll see what I can do," she said.

Chase stood up and nodded. "Thank you," he said, his voice low and raspy. He turned to leave but stopped at the door. "I saw her with House." He didn't turn around but he knew he caught Cuddy's attention when her rustling around the room stopped. "In his office. They were hugging."

Cuddy felt a jealous stab, but shook it off quickly. "It's Cameron," she said. "She sees a hurt puppy and her reflex reaction is to hug it. It's nothing."

Chase turned around and strode toward Cuddy and stopped within inches of touching her. "He hugged her back."

Cuddy shook her head. "It's nothing," she said again, a little slower this time.

"I know that," Chase said. "I know because he has you now. He'd be an idiot to give that up for Cameron."

"That's an odd thing to say coming from Cameron's husband," Cuddy could feel a heat settling between them, and knew anyone looking in from the outside would think them too close for comfort, but she didn't move away; something held her there.

Chase reached out and brushed her fingers with his. "It's the truth," he said. "I just hope House realizes it."

He lingered a second longer and then moved away from her and toward the door. Cuddy was left feeling flustered and oddly affected. Such a display was absurd; a junior fellow walking up to the Dean of Medicine and…what? Making a pass at her? Was that what that was?

* * *

By the time Cuddy got home, House had already drug the entire contents of her kitchen out onto the counters and had a steamy pot nearly bubbling over on the stove.

"If I knew you were leaving early, I would've had you bring Rachel home. She was stuck in the office with me all day."

House shrugged. "She's fine there with you," he said. He reached for a spoon and dipped it into a creamy white wine sauce on the island and then reached it over to her. "Taste this," he said. Cuddy leaned in and sipped the sauce onto her tongue.

She smiled. "Delectable."

"You likes?" She smiled at him and nodded. House turned back to the stove. "So, Cameron hugged me today."

Cuddy paused. "Okay," she said. "That was random."

"Just thought you should know. You know in case someone saw something I didn't want you to get the wrong idea or anything."

"How sweet," she said, and shook her jacket off and laid it across the back of a chair. She had already decided against telling him about her and Chases little moment—whatever—in her office today.

"I'm reformed, remember." He dropped some chopped onions into a pan and they sizzled as they hit the heat.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," she said. House grunted but didn't answer. "Chase…wants to come back to work in diagnostics."

House paused, but still didn't turn around. "That's stupid, why would he want to do that, it's like a step back for him."

Cuddy moved cautiously around the counter to stand next to him and placed a hand on his arm. "Not as a fellow," she said. "I…I want to make him an attending. He'd be working with you and Foreman, not under you."

She felt his arm tense for a moment and then he let out a small laugh. "Sure," he said. "Why not promote them all, Taub and Thirteen too. Then we can hire more fellows, and make them attendings too."

"I'm serious House, I want to know what you think."

House grew quiet for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders and Cuddy's hand off of him. "It's not my department anymore," he said. "Not my call. You should be talking to Foreman." Cuddy didn't move away from him, until they hear Rachel cry out from the other room.

"House?" She was nearly pleading with him now.

"Baby's crying," he said and turned his back to her.

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tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks so much to those who have left a review...I always love to know what you all think =)_

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**Hearts get Harder**

**Chapter 2:**

The next day Cuddy realized around seven in the evening that she had not heard from House all day. She tried to call her home to see if he could stay with Rachel after the nanny left so she could get some last-minute things done at the hospital, but he wasn't there. After calling the baby-sitter Cuddy headed upstairs to look for him. What she found was a dark office and a lone figure slumped in the corner chair under a small reading lamp. She pushed the door open and walked in.

"Hey—Chase?" Cuddy stopped in her tracks when she realized the figure in House's chair was in fact not House.

"Chase uncrossed his arms and pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Hey," he said.

"I was…looking for House. Did he already leave?"

"I haven't seen him today," Chase said. "I figured he stayed at your place."

Cuddy shook her head. "He left before I did this morning." Chase shrugged as if to say that he wasn't House's keeper and he didn't give a crap where he was or what he was doing. Cuddy stood at the door silently for several seconds before coming inside and closing it behind her. "I wanted to talk to you anyway," she said. "Are you still interested in getting back on the team permanently?"

"Yes," he said softly, but with a hint of uncertainty.

"Well, I talked to Foreman and we agreed that it would be great to have you back there. You'll be an attending physician and you'll be a mentor to the new round of fellows next year."

"Did you talk to House?" Chase asked, knowing the answer and knowing why she didn't mention it. She ignored the question and squinted into the barely lit room, catching sight of a small duffle bag on the floor at Chase's feet.

"What are you doing?" She asked him. "Are you sleeping here?"

"No," he said flatly. "I'm sleeping at a hotel. I just didn't want to leave yet."

Cuddy took a step closer and sat next to him on the ottoman as she had done with House so many times in the past. "What's going on?"

His lips turned down in a frustrated frown and his eyes glossed over. "I dunno," he said. "She hardly talks to me anymore and when I told her I wanted to stay she flipped." Cuddy reached a hand out to find his arm and squeezed. "I have no idea what happened. After the wedding we were so happy and then when we came back it was like everything fell apart." Absently Chase leaned in closer to Cuddy and pushed his hair away from his eyes.

"Have you two talked about leaving?" Cuddy asked with a certain amount of trepidation. The last thing she wanted was to lose either of them, but she knew that this place could be pretty intense especially now.

"Leave the hospital?" He asked her. "No. Of course not. We were happy here before; we can be again." He nodded as he spoke, as if trying to convince himself that what he was saying was true. "She always does this. When something is upsetting her she always shuts me out, and then comes running back later."

Cuddy nodded. "I know the feeling," she said honestly. The thought that House and Cameron had something in common when it came to the way they treated the people who loved them struck her as ironic. The stinging rejection of the night before came back to her in an instant and she knew Chase could see it.

His hand came down over where she was still gripping his arm and he laced his fingers with hers. They stared at each other as if waiting for an invitation. What an insane and wonderful feeling this was. A fantasy. A nightmare. He was shocked at how quickly he could go from spite to exhilaration in her presence. Chase closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them Cuddy had started to pull away.

Chase reached for her and tangled a hand through her thick curls. He brought her lips to his and parted them slightly as they met one another. His kiss was soft, but with enough urgency that Cuddy leaned into him and parted her lips, reaching out to hold his face in her hands as they let tongues loose and ragged breaths escape between bruised and busied lips.

Cuddy could barely react; she had been stunned into silence. After spending so many years longing for things she thought she couldn't have and then by some miracle she got them…would she risk destroying that now? For what? For who? _But it wasn't exactly a dream come true with House was it? _She thought. She remembered the gentle touch of Chase's fingers moving over her neck and shoulder.

He sensed her hesitation and pulled back slightly but didn't let go of her. "I'm sorry, I know this is nuts--" he started, but Cuddy stopped him by placing her thumb to his lips. He kissed it and then opened his eyes to look at her. Really look at her. The little bit of light that filtered from the windows and the small light behind him illuminated her just enough for him to see that though she was tired and worn from the day, her hair pinned in a perfect bun had started to fall around her face and her lips were swollen from his kisses, her eyes wild with equal parts arousal and confusion. He had always thought she was attractive and sexy. But in this moment she had never been more beautiful.

"You look amazing in this light," Chase told her, never one to keep his thoughts to himself. Cuddy smiled and looked away, a little embarrassed at what had just transpired.

"House used to say the same thing to me," she said, without realizing it. At the mention of his name both of them stiffened up and dropped their hands away from one another. Chase clutched his fists at his side and looked away when Cuddy stood up abruptly. "I'm gonna go," she said.

He nodded. "That's probably a good idea." The two lingered, staring and itching to say the hell with it, and see where the night could take them. But both were a bit too cautious and rational for that. "Goodnight Cuddy," Chase whispered, as she stepped away from him and pushed passed the door. He wasn't even sure if she'd heard him.

* * *

Cuddy never did find House that night, which she decided, was a good thing. When she got home she imagined that she could still feel a tingling sensation on her lips. She could still smell the soft musk he wore and the taste of him. _What is wrong with me?_ She wondered. This was so not like her, and yet she couldn't stop the images from playing in her mind. Images of what happened and what might have happened. Could he have pulled her into his lap, could she have straddled him while the pulled off her shirt and let needy hands caress her breasts?

And it was Chase? So unlikely, so young. So sweet and uncomplicated. Cuddy shook her head; willing the thoughts to disappear. She tossed and turned for most of the night before her frustrations got the better of her. She let her hand roam over the soft cotton nightgown from her breasts to her stomach, down to the lace hem of her nightgown. She pushed her panties out of the way and sunk her two forefingers into the already wet and waiting center of her thighs. A raspy moan fell out of her lips as she stroked her sex in repetitive circles with building determination. She imagined Chase's firm smooth body above her, his boyish face looking down at her, his lips on her throat. She imagined that it was his hands manipulating her, driving her insane…

She opened her eyes briefly and swept across the room, double checking to make sure she was indeed alone. "Chase." His name dripped from her tongue in the way a too rich piece of chocolate does. Naughty, delicious and wrong. She said it again a little louder this time, "Chase." She sped up her rhythmic thrusting of her fingers against her clit and arched her back until her shoulders bore into the mattress and her free hand clutched the sheets as she rode her orgasm to its end.

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tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Here is the next bit...it is a little longer than most of my chapters, but hang with it and near the end I've got some NC-17 fo yo ass lovelies....reviews are love =)

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**Hearts get Harder**

**Chapter 3:**

At the hospital the next morning, House was already waiting for Cuddy when she got to the office. He was settled on her couch, his feet propped up on the table.

"What happened to you yesterday?" She asked, stepping around the side of her desk.

He ignored the question. "You look…nice," he said. "Kind of tired but satisfied. I'd think you just woke up after having your cookies tossed last night…But I was at Wilson's so…"

Cuddy blushed but pulled a file off one of the stacks on her desk. "I'm busy House…"

"Missed me bad huh?" He smirked and she glanced up at him, not being able to keep from smiling. She could've mocked him and told him who she was really thinking about last night, but what was the point? Chase was upset and she seemed to have a talent lately for seeking out needy men. She smiled wider and focused her attention on House.

"Everything okay?" She asked. She caught sight of Chase in the lobby of the clinic. He had glanced into her office quickly and then turned away. House noticed that her gaze had drifted outside of the door but he pressed his hands together and leaned forward, getting ready to make his retreat.

"Fine," he answered. "Just needed a little space." She looked back over at him, wondering briefly if he was telling her that he needed space away from her and he wanted to split up. But he gave her a reassuring smile and said, "I hope that's okay."

She nodded. "Of course." House stood up slowly and clinched his cane and leaned down hard as his leg protested the movement. He walked from the couch around to the side of the desk and, placing one hand on either side of her chair, House leaned down and kissed her. Cuddy was instantly aware that everyone in the lobby would be able to see them. It wasn't exactly a secret that they were together, not even looked down upon really, but as House pulled away and turned to leave, Cuddy looked past him out to the nurses' station where she saw Chase has witnessed the kiss and stood staring with his jaw clinched tight.

House walked by Chase and said something about getting his butt upstairs if he wanted to stay on the team to which Chase replied, "You're not the boss of me," before he turned and headed straight for Cuddy's office.

**

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**

A breathless Cuddy gripped the edge of her desk with one hand and Chase's forearm with the other. His touch traced the soft spot on her throat that made her knees want to buckle and she couldn't stop a slight moan from slipping past her lips.

From the second she saw him stalking toward her office she had steeled herself to tell him that what had happened between them was a mistake and couldn't happen again. That's what she was going to tell him. Before he locked the door behind him and pulled the blinds shut. He seemed hesitant; as if he too had been feeling remorse and wanted to set things straight with her. But the second he opened his mouth it seemed to swell and nothing would come out. Cuddy had stepped around the edge of the desk when she saw him coming and the next thing she knew she was practically sitting on top of it, as Chase had pushed one leg between her thighs and took her lips again with the kind of reckless force she had only dreamed he was capable of. Hearing some distant voices on the other side of the door, Cuddy squeezed his arms and he begrudgingly pulled away from her.

They stared at one another for a long moment and the Chase shook his head. "This is insane," he said, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was doing…"

"You don't have to be sorry—" Cuddy started but Chase cut her off.

"Yeah, I kinda do." Glanced down at his wedding ring, the ring that moments ago Cuddy had felt graze the back of her neck when he twisted his fingers through her hair. She nodded. He was right, this was out of control.

"I know," she said. "I'm not even sure what happened last night. We…" She started to say that they had made a mistake but couldn't quite get it out. "We have other people in our lives who need us."

Chase agreed, though in the back of his mind knew that House needed Cuddy like he needed air, but Cameron…Chase wasn't so sure she felt the same way. "I just want you to know that that's not the kind of thing I do…I don't go around kissing some random woman every time I get upset with Cameron."

Cuddy smiled at him thinking that if that's what he did there wouldn't a woman left in the hospital he hadn't kissed. "I know that."

"And it was really difficult for me to let you walk out last night."

Cuddy paused. "But you are sorry?" she asked.

"Very." The corners of his mouth turned up in a sly smile. He reached for her hand as the voices outside the door grew closer. "I hope that we can be friends, Cuddy. You…you make me smile."

Cuddy laughed out loud. His directness was very unnerving, as if she didn't know what to do with a man who said what was in his heart and spoke his mind without playing games with her. "Were we friends before?"

He thought about it for a second. "I guess not, not really. But we should be." There was a tap at the door, and Cuddy looked up, a little panicked. Chase let go of her hand. "We should go bowling, or get drinks or something, That's what I do with my friends."

She laughed again. "I'll think about it," she said and stepped back around to sit behind her desk. She picked up a file that she had forgotten to give to House earlier and handed it over to Chase. "You guys have a case," she said. Chase smiled wider and took the file from her.

**

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**

Chase was the last one to step into the conference room. Forman and Cameron were seated at the table; House was leaning against the wall behind Cameron. "If you're done trying to fondle my girlfriend, can we take a look at the file?" He said.

Chase felt his face grow hot, but knew House was kidding, and really had no idea. "Sorry, but all the begging makes her hard to resist."

House smirked and apparently decided to let Chase win that one. Especially after seeing the way Cameron was scowling at him.

Chase tossed the file down in front of Foreman, who scooped it up and flipped to the first page. House leaned down and pulled the file out of his hands. "37 year old truck driver, intermittent pain in both legs." House picked up the marker and started to write when he was interrupted.

"How was your hotel?" Cameron, not trying at all to keep her voice down, pinned Chase to his chair with her glare. House looked at Foreman and then back and forth between Chase and Cameron.

"A lot more welcoming than my home was last night," Chase answered her in a deadpan delivery that impressed House quite a bit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you two were having marital issues," House said, taking a seat next to Chase. "Let's stop the differential so you can work this out. Is it because you want to stay here with me but the Mrs. doesn't trust me not to make a move on you?"

They both ignored House, and Cameron and Chase continued to glare at one another. Foreman cleared his throat. "Truck drivers spend most of their time sitting down. DVT seems kind of obvious."

House glanced back and forth between Cameron and Chase. Cameron stood up suddenly and quickly left the room. House raised his eyebrows at Chase who didn't react. "MRI ruled out DVT which means…the boss is dead wrong. Go find your wifey, apologize for whatever you did and then get an LP to check for infection."

Chase clinched his jaw and then silently stood up and left the room. He caught up with Cameron in the lab. "How long are we going to keep doing this?" He asked her.

"You're the one who didn't come home last night." She said dropping a stack of files into a nearby cabinet.

"Because _you_ told me you didn't want to see me. Jesus, you can't tell me one thing and then get mad at me because I do what you want."

"Why do you want to stay on the team so badly?" She finally turned to face him, but Chase looked away from her not sure he wanted to have this argument again right now.

"Why does it bother you so much? In a few weeks House will have his license back, and we'll have hired a whole new team and you'll be free to get back to the ER," he paused and then looked up at her. "Unless, that's it…you're jealous because you don't want me to come back without you."

"No, Chase!" She had gone from zero to furious for the second time in two days. "I don't want you on the team because even being back with him for a week has changed you…it's already coming between us."

Chase paused. He took a step closer to her but she backed away. "Stop babe," he whispered. He reached for her but she brushed him off.

"You have to decide what's more important to you," she said and then pushed past him leaving him alone.

**

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**

Twelve hours later the sun had set and Cuddy had long but Rachel to bed, showered and stretched out on her couch in a bathrobe. She thought of calling House to see when he'd be done but when she'd gone up to say goodbye to him earlier that evening the patient seemed to be falling apart faster than expected. She'd be lucky if she saw him at all tonight.

She was nearly asleep when she woke to a firm and steady tapping on her front door. _House's cane_. She padded into the foyer and as she was wondering why he didn't just use his key, she opened the door to find Chase standing there with a DVD in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Cuddy laughed and stepped aside.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. "And what did you bring?"

"Friendly reasons," he smirked at her, and handed over the wine. "_Casablanca_ and Pinot Gris."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Could you get any more obvious?"

"Thought you'd say that. Actually it's _Scream_." He leaned in to kiss her cheek and pulled his jacket off his shoulders and then headed into the living room.

Cuddy laughed and watched him kind of confused as he made himself comfortable on her couch. "I guess that's marginally better." She went into the kitchen and opened the wine, poured two glasses and carried them back into the living room.

Chase had put the movie in and settled on the couch his legs resting on her coffee table and one arm flung over the back of the couch. Cuddy stared at him without a word and admitted to herself that if she were smart and decent she'd tell him to leave right now. But when he reached up and pushed a piece of dirty blond hair out of his face and then looked back at her with the sweetest smile she thought she'd ever seen, Cuddy relented. She perched herself on the other end of the couch and tucked her legs up underneath her.

As the movie progressed Cuddy laughed and shrieked every time Chase tried to scare her in a suspenseful moment. And as the wine flowed it didn't take long for the gap between them to grow smaller until she was settled into the nook in his side and his arm tight around her.

It felt good for them both.

As the credits rolled, Cuddy pushed herself off of Chase and leaned back against the other end of the couch. "House could come over here any minute you know."

Chase shook his head. "He won't. Our patient came in with a sore leg, and now has multi-organ failure. House isn't going anywhere."

"Then, why aren't you there?" She asked.

Chase looked down at the floor. "I'm supposed to be," he said. "House sent me and Cameron to search his home and truck, but Cameron didn't want me to go with her, so I searched the truck, didn't find anything and decided to come over here."

Cuddy frowned and put a hand on his arm, now resting on the back of the couch. "She's still angry with you?"

He nodded. "She is. It's like she wants me to chose between the job and her. I don't get it."

"It seems like it would be an easy choice," Cuddy told him. "You haven't worked for House for two years, you practically refused to have anything to do with him until now."

"I've missed working on these cases for two years, and House isn't in charge anymore."

"Not technically, but come on Chase—"

He nodded, "I know. But Cuddy…" HE stopped and then looked back up at her. "I never wanted to be a doctor. Never not until I started working for House, and then something just happened to me. I'm not the same man I was six years ago and no matter how much I try to say I don't care and don't want to work for him, nothing makes me feel alive like that job does. I don't think it should have to be a choice."

Cuddy stared at him. She had never really heard him talk like this. "No, you're right, it shouldn't."

He started to say something else but stopped himself. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't want you to think I came over here just because I'm upset about my marriage."

"Why did you come then?" She was looking straight at him now, straight into beautiful eyes that told her everything she needed to know without even asking.

"Because I wanted to spend some time with you," he said honestly. "Because I feel good around you."

Cuddy shook her head; again so blunt, so honest. He moved closer to her again and rested a hand on her thigh over her terrycloth robe, and the other played with the still damp tendrils of hair at her shoulder. "I don't know what we're doing here, but I can't seem to make myself stop."

"Do you need me to tell you that's it's never gonna happen so you should stop wasting your time?"

"If that's the way you feel, that'd be really helpful," he was smiling again but there was a certain sadness behind it.

Cuddy nodded, she briefly leaned into his hand, but as his thumb moved to graze her lip she pulled back. "You should probably go before we do something stupid."

Chase bit his lip. "Okay," he said and moved his hands away from her. She followed him back into the foyer and handed him his jacket. He took it from her but didn't put it on, he just stared at her. Her lovely face framed in dark curls, her lips, her neck. He closed his eyes. "I wanna stay," he said finally. His eyes remained closed, and he nearly shivered when he felt her hand on the side of his face.

Cuddy pushed up on tip toes to kiss him again. She'd wanted to all night, she had been using all the mental restraint she could muster not to but now there was no stopping her. Her lips brushed his briefly, and she whispered, "I want you to stay."

Chase dropped his jacket to the floor and wrapped his arms around her. They fell back into the door and Cuddy pushed her body forcefully against his. She let her hands dance over his shirt and down to his hips. Her mouth found its way to his throat and he groaned as her hot tongue played circles in his most vulnerable spots.

He moved his hands over her ass and she hummed a shallow breath as his fingers stroked the rough fabric separating his from her bare skin. He pulled the tie to the robe free and it fell open, revealing her naked body in its perfection and the sight was stunning. He could've never fantasized that she would be this flawless, this enticing. Chase slipped a hand inside her robe and traced the line of her side from her breasts down her stomach and over her hips. She leaned back against the door as he moved his fingers to the center of her thighs and as she whimpered for him to touch her, he pressed against her again and let his lips explore her. The shape and the taste of her.

He lifted her up onto a nearby buffet and stood back staring admirably at her. "You are unbelievable," he said. He parted her legs and kissed her again; he sunk a finger into her center, already wet and needy. He dropped to his knees and lifted one of her feet onto his shoulder. Cuddy tipped her head against the wall and cried out as his tongue slid up the inside of her thigh and flicked against her clit. With surprising skill, he moved his tongue in intricate circles and as Cuddy's cries became more desperate, Chase moved his hand up her leg and pushed two fingers into her, stroking in time with the rhythm of his tongue. Within seconds Cuddy couldn't hold out any longer. She pulled on Chase's shoulder beckoning him to come back up to her.

She pulled off his shirt and hastily unsnapped the button on his jeans. She pushed his pants and underwear down over his hips and his cock sprang up, urgent and ready. Chase gripped her hips and moved himself inside her. He opened his eyes again and again was in awe of when lay sprawled in front of him. He pumped into her harder and faster, his fingers kneading her skin and his mouth hungry for more of her. Cuddy's moans grew louder and more desperate and as Chase came closer to his own climax he wrapped his arms around her back and one hand on her ass as he pulled her close and emptied himself into her.

For several seconds they didn't let go of one another, both afraid that the other would panic, would withdraw, or worst of all, would flee. But when Chase finally let his arms slid away from her, and leaned back, bracing himself on the edge of the buffet, he saw Cuddy, her head still resting on the wall, her eyes closed, and with the most brilliant and satisfied smile crossing her face, he thought for sure he had fallen in love with her right then and there.

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TBC....


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews...they really do keep me wanting to write =) Hope you enjoy the next bit...and as always I love to hear what you think.**

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**Hearts get Harder**

Chapter 4:

An hour later, Chase stretched under the soft lavender sheets of Cuddy's bed and smiled to himself when he glanced down for the hundredth time to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and found her cheek resting on his stomach, her hair falling over his chest and her naked body curled up next to his under the sheet. Earlier, when she finally opened her eyes and he was still standing in front of her, she didn't panic like he thought she would, she just pulled him close again and hugged him, kissed his shoulder and held him, until he pulled her off the buffet table in her entryway and carried her to the bedroom, her giggling the whole way. Now she was half asleep and he was content listening to her breathing and the low hum of the baby monitor on the night stand.

It wasn't until well after midnight when his phone started to vibrate on the nightstand that Cameron or House entered his mind. Chase let the call go to voicemail but soon after he got a text from House: 4MAN SAYS BACK IN THE OFFICE IN 10 OR UR FIRED!

He smiled to himself, and stroked Cuddy's hair. "That House?" She asked him without opening her eyes.

He nodded. "They're looking for me."

"Good thing this is the last place they'd look." She said, and they both let out a low and unashamed laugh.

Chase sat up slowly and Cuddy lifted her head and turned to face him. "You're being awful calm about all this," he said to her.

"I'm trying to enjoy it," she said. Chase's lips turned up into a slight smile and he leaned in to give her a soft kiss which turned into a deeper one, which turned into hands groping under the sheets for contact and low murmurs urging for more and more. But eventually Cuddy pulled away from him and shook her head slowly, but couldn't quite form the words to tell him he needed to get back to the patient.

"I should probably head back to work," he said knowing very well what she was thinking and she nodded. "One quick thing first," he said and before she could even ask, Chase tightened his hold on her hip and flipped her underneath him onto her stomach. He pulled her hips and ass against his groin and moved his hands meticulously over her back and shoulders and then down her thighs. Cuddy smiled but acted indignant as she tried to get up, but Chase wrapped his arms around her waist, while he sunk one hand between her thighs and pressed two fingers against her clit, stilling her. "Won't worry," he whispered into her ear, "This will only take a minute."

* * *

Half an hour later Chase stepped off the elevator and into the hallway outside off the office. He noted that Cameron and Foreman were seated at the conference table and House was pacing in front of the window. He shook his head and wished he were back in Cuddy's bed, back in her arms…back in her.

House spotted him in the hall and nodded for him to get in there. When Chase stepped through the door Cameron turned around and anger flashed over her face. "Where have you been?" She asked.

"Thought you were done with me," Chase said coldly and stepped past her to sit down.

House coughed loudly and turned to Foreman. "Why don't you tell these two what happens to my employees when a relationship starts to interfere with our patients."

"They're not your employees," Foreman said.

"And we're not yours either." This was Cameron.

"Maybe we need to go and talk to Cuddy," Foreman said.

Chase's head snapped up at the mention of her name. "Cuddy's not here," he said a little too quickly. House had been watching him closely and noted this answer with a slight narrowing of his eyes. "I mean it's the middle of the night on a Friday, she wouldn't be here."

"No," House answered him, "Normally she'd have her legs wrapped around my waist like a vice, but I can't go home because I'm stuck here, because apparently you guys have other things on your mind besides this case. We don't need Cuddy we need to focus. Cameron, go back to the ER."

"What?" She was shocked that he was asking her to leave. "Why can't Chase—"

"Because Chase works here now, you don't. Go back to the ER or go home." He wasn't being malicious and he wasn't angry. If anything he was calm and almost apologetic but Cameron tossed down the file and left the room without a word.

They were all silent for a few moments to see if Chase would go after her and when he didn't Foreman cleared his throat and picked up the file that Cameron had dropped. "Can we get back to work?" He asked tentatively.

* * *

Around eight the next morning Cuddy walked into the hospital with Rachel in tow and headed for her office. She didn't get far because as she rounded the nurses' station the elevator doors opened and House and Chase stepped off together, looking ragged and sleep deprived. She tempered her initial shock at seeing the two of them side-by-side and waved at them. Chase raised his hand to wave back at her and House gave him an incredulous look and rolled his eyes. "She meant me idiot." He walked over toward Cuddy and bent down to kiss her cheek. Rachel pawed at him and to Cuddy's surprise House lifted Rachel out of her arms and carried her toward the office. Cuddy gave Chase an awkward half-smile and then followed after House. Chase swallowed hard as he watched them disappear behind her door and pull the blinds closed.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Cuddy noted as House settled on the couch and held Rachel's hands and she bounced next to him on wobbly legs. She was days away from taking her first steps.

"RA," House said. "Guy'll be fine." Cuddy nodded absently as she gathered some files and loose papers on her desk and shoveled them into her briefcase. "Your obvious disinterest is noted," House told her after a moment.

Cuddy looked up startled. Her mind has started to drift. "Sorry," she said. "But Rheumatoid Arthritis isn't exactly a thrilling diagnosis is it?"

House shrugged. "Guess not. What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to grab some work. You heading home?" House nodded and Cuddy paused, realizing that she wasn't sure exactly what that meant. House got rid of his apartment a while ago and when she and he first started dating he was splitting his time pretty evenly between her place and Wilson's. After awhile it was like they practically lived together, but then lately he had been spending more and more time at Wilson's.

"I was gonna shower and grab a nap but then I thought I could make you lunch." So he was talking about her place. Rachel settled onto his lap and leaned against his chest. Cuddy stared at the sight in front of her and as she had a flash of the night before and the way she quivered in Chase's arms and the way she flung away everything, every care, every thought of House or anyone else her heart sank. The reason, she realized, was because she never believed that things between her and House would last, not for long anyway, and if she did sabotage it, he certainly would.

"What's going on with you?" She asked. "One minute you need space the next minute you're cuddling Rachel and making lunch. I don't mean to sound demanding, but we are going to have to work on a bit more stability than this."

House smiled down at Rachel. "You mothers and your 'stability.' Is that all you care about? What about romance and passion and—" he covered Rachel's ears, "wild and dirty digger sex."

Cuddy's eyes widened. Another flash of the previous night as Chase's beautiful hair fell over his eyes while he pounded into her. "House!" she hissed at him. He laughed and let go of Rachel's ears when she started to squirm in his hands.

"I know I've been acting like an ass; it's not you and it's not on purpose. I just needed to figure some stuff out," he told her. He was very rarely this direct, although ironically enough he was being direct without really revealing anything. How fitting.

"And have you?" She asked.

He nodded. "I think so."

Cuddy finished closing up her briefcase and spotted a travel package on the corner of her desk. "Oh," she sounded surprised. "I completely forgot. Several months ago Foreman submitted your case about the guy with Locked-In syndrome to the AMA Conference in St. Petersburg this year. You guys all have to be out there in two weeks."

House raised his eyebrows. "St. Petersburg?"

"Yes. I know how much you hate giving speeches but this could be really great for the hospital and for you when the board looks at your licensing hearing and sees you've stayed active—"

"We should do it." He said. He lifted Rachel into his arms again as he stood up and crossed the room so that he was standing directly behind her. She jumped a bit when she turned around to find him there.

"_We_?"

"Yeah. You come with me. I'll be great." He leaned in to kiss her but she stopped him with a hand flat against his chest.

"And what about Rachel and the hospital? What should I do about them for three days while we run off to the beach?"

House frowned. "We'll take her with us, and the nanny and you'll leave someone else in charge for a few days." Cuddy smiled a half smile and handed him the travel and conference information. She had to admit that a couple weeks ago this offer would've been just what she wanted. Even having him ask her and her baby to go on a tropical vacation with him would've been enough. That was before…

"I'll think about it," she finally. This time when he came close to kiss her she didn't push him away or even hesitate. And though she tried not to think of Chase she couldn't help but realize the rough and urgent way that House seemed to kiss her each and every time like it may be the last. A stark contrast to Chase's soft and needy kisses; the ones with promise of surprises and newness, without complication or pretext. Just the moment.

* * *

That evening Cuddy had resolved herself to end whatever it was she had started with Chase. She was foolish to give into him; it was stupid and wrong…and amazing. But wrong. She knew better and so did he.

Chase had tried to call her twice and she ignored him. He sent her a text message asking her to meet him which she also ignored. She wasn't hiding exactly, she just felt like shit for what she did and what she was about to do, and she didn't know how to face him. Eventually though he didn't leave her with a choice. He sent her a text: COME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW OR IM COMING OVER THERE.

Cuddy kissed House goodbye and told him she wouldn't be long, budget crisis, and she'd be home before dinner. It was amazing how easily the lies came to her. Obviously she'd known House just a bit too long.

When Cuddy walked into the hospital Chase was waiting for her outside of her office, his arms folded over his chest and his lips forming a pained frown. He was so lovely even when he was upset Cuddy couldn't tame the reflex to put a hand on his arm as she unlocked the office door and led him inside.

Once they were alone in the dimly lit office the two of them stared at one another without a word for several seconds. Cuddy raised her hands in defeat, not really knowing what to say, but knowing for sure if she opened her mouth for even a second her resolve would crumble to pieces.

Chase shook his head and stepped close to her circling his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. He held her there locked in his arms until she was able to catch her breath. She buried her face in his shoulder and tried to bite back crying in front of him.

He kept his arms tight around her but his face was hard and stony. "Don't tell me you don't want to see me any more Lisa."

"I can't see you anymore." She let go of him and took a step back. "I can't," she repeated in a choked whisper. "What we did was wrong and you know it."

"After one conversation with House now you can't? Last night you were singing a pretty different song." He crossed his arms again and furrowed his brow. He had gone on the defensive so quickly Cuddy found herself trying to catch up.

"Chase, last night was a mistake. I've loved House since before you had your driver's license. This whole thing is a mistake. And look at you? Pretty soon Cameron is going to work out whatever her deal is and she'll be right back asking for your forgiveness like always and you'll give it to her because you love her and don't want to lose her." It was Cuddy now who was being defensive.

"I don't want to lose _you_," he said. "You are not honestly telling me that you used me to hurt House and now you don't want anything to do with me?"

Cuddy started to refute him but paused. Was that what she was saying? Certainly it wasn't her intention, but… "I have to go Chase. I need you to work things out with Cameron and forget about what happened."

Chase swallowed hard. "Are you gonna tell him?"

"No," she answered flatly. "I just wanna forget it happened."

"You won't be able to," he told her. "No more than I will." Cuddy shook her head and turned to leave; She told House she'd only be a few minutes. "I heard we're all going to St. Petersburg together." Cuddy turned around and saw him smirking, though she thought for a moment she caught a flash of anger behind his smile. "It should be fun."

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**TBC...**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I know how aggravating it is to go so long between updates but it couldn't be helped...thanks for sticking with it anyways though, you guys are like awesomesauce =) Reviews are always appreciated!

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**Hearts get Harder**

**Chapter 5**

Chase felt a stiff knot form in the pit of his stomach as he watched House and Cuddy through the glass walls separating the conference room from House's office. For the past two weeks Chase had watched as Cuddy tried to put her life with House back together. Watching them now it appeared to be working. They were smiling and laughing. They were happy. Cuddy was making a purposeful effort not to look out at him and Chase wasn't hiding his frustrations well at all. He was angry at House and Cameron; he was angry at Cuddy. He seemed to be angry at everyone but himself. But he knew full and well that he was the only one who really deserved it.

Cuddy handed House what looked like a plane ticket. She touched his arm and he leaned in to kiss her. Chase felt the knot in his stomach tighten and he felt nauseous. Ever since the night they spent together he had not been able to forget the way she kissed. Those lips where emblazoned on his brain and it sickened him to know that House could kiss her anytime he wanted without truly appreciating what he had. The bastard. And Cuddy, she hadn't really spoken to him in several days. He knew she was trying not to encourage him, by keeping her distance she gave him no reason to believe she was thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her. Except when she caught Chase and Cameron in a terse moment in the cafeteria and the look on her face was nothing short of supreme jealousy.

For her part Cameron never did come running back to Chase as Cuddy had told him she would. Chase realized that in the past it took an ultimatum or a rejection on his part to force her into submission but he had neither the will nor the motivation this time to do either. He had gone back home but the two of them walked in and out of each other's lives with barely a word.

House stepped back into the conference room and tossed two other plane tickets down on the table. "Back your bags; our plane leaves a nine tomorrow morning. Chase where's my speech?"

"What?" He didn't bother hiding his annoyance.

"My speech. When I told you we were going on this trip I said if you wanted to come you had to write up my presentation. You know since you weren't on the team when we treated this guy. Also Cuddy got Cameron a ticket too. Tell her bikinis are mandatory."

Chase picked up the pair of tickets and stared at them. "Cuddy got Cameron a ticket?"

House lifted a quizzical eyebrow. "Don't tell me you two are fighting again."

"Try fighting still," Chase said. He was silent for a moment and then he tossed the tickets down on the table. "Tell Cuddy I'm sorry but we're not going." He pushed himself back from the table and stood up. House stepped in front of him and blocked the door with his cane.

"I'm sorry," he said. The words seemed to come more easily and much more frequently these days. "I'm sorry that you and Cameron are having problems. I don't know what it's about but, whatever it is you need to fix it." He moved his cane to let Chase pass, though Chase just stood there staring at him, half way between wanting to punch him and wanting to hug him. House cleared his throat. "I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to leave" he said. "If you two can't work things out that's exactly what will happen."

Chase swallowed. "I know," he whispered. House nodded and left the office. Chase pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed. "Hey," he said. "I need to talk; can you meet me in an hour?"

* * *

When Cuddy stepped onto the elevator after going to see House she was clearly flustered. Chase's penetrating glare didn't leave them the whole time. House didn't notice, but she certainly did. As hard as she'd tried to put some distance between them she couldn't yet be in the same room with him without it affecting her. She'd didn't feel particularly guilty, and she wasn't remorseful exactly. She was glad for what happened between them; she needed it. But what she felt now was an untamable urge to run back to him every second of loneliness or arousal she felt, and even House, whose passion at one time could not be rivaled, had turned a corner in which his attempt to be the kind of man he thought she wanted had zapped any sense of danger or mystery that he knew very well she thrived on.

She was being shallow. She knew that. The tug of war between brain and heart never failed to confuse her. But at least now she recognized the affair for what it was and she was trying to do the right thing.

When she walked across the lobby and toward her office she caught sight of Cameron waiting for her there, before Cameron had spotted her. The thought that she could spin around and disappear into an exam room to avoid talking with the other woman occurred to her briefly, but it was too late. Cameron has seen her and tensed quickly. Cuddy noticed and knew right away this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"What's up?" Cuddy asked when she reached the door to her office. She pulled off a cracked but casual tone, which surprised her.

"We need to talk." Cameron clenched her fists as soon as she spoke, and Cuddy could see her trying to relax, struggling to maintain her composure. Cuddy let them both into the office and closed the door behind them. Cameron reached into her bag and produced a smooth white envelope. Cuddy closed her eyes as Cameron handed it over.

"You're resigning?" Cameron nodded. "What about Chase?" Cuddy didn't think before she blurted the question and she saw a flash of anger fly over Cameron's face. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, leaving Cuddy to wonder what Chase had told her.

"I'm filing for divorce," she said.

"Allison, no—"

She no longer tried to hide her resentment. "I don't need your input," she said bitterly.

"I didn't mean—"

"You didn't mean to what?" Cameron asked, her voice dripping with irony.

Cuddy took a deep breath and steadied her hands which had started to shake. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't want this." She wondered how Cameron could've found out, but decided it didn't really matter now. She only wondered if Cameron knew, did House know too?

Cameron turned away to leave but paused at the door. "You are so selfish," she said. "Why couldn't you be happy with what you've got?"

"Cameron…" Cuddy started to defend herself but found she had nothing to say in her own defense.

"I'm done with all of this," she said. "But if you don't love House you should let him go. What you're doing is cruel." Cameron opened the door and walked out. Slamming it behind her hard enough to cause the nursing staff to look up and spot Dr. Cuddy behind the glass panes of her door with her face buried in her hands.

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Twenty-four hours was nearly enough time for Cuddy to numb the sting of what Cameron had said to her the day before. She left with House, Foreman, Taub and Thirteen for the conference that morning and though House had told her that Chase and Cameron weren't coming, she wasn't all that surprised to see Chase show up at the airport at the last minute and board the plane with them.

Chase sat three rows back from Cuddy and House and watched as House lifting a fussing Rachel out of Cuddy's arms and placed her against his chest. Both House and the baby were asleep by the time they hit 30,000 feet.

Chase pushed both hands through his hair and let out a deep sigh. He honestly couldn't say why he decided to come on this trip. He just knew he didn't want to be alone in that condo. Not after…

_"Why did you marry me? You obviously don't even like me that much?" _This was Chase's response to Cameron after she told him in an even dispassionate tone that she was leaving him and the hospital tonight and she wouldn't be coming back. Ever.

_"You did this, not me and you know it. Cuddy already knows that I know about the two of you. At least she had the decency not to lie about it." _

Chase swallowed a hard lump in his throat. He couldn't decide if he was more upset about the end of his marriage or about the way Cuddy's hand rested on House's arm while her baby slept against him.

He unbuckled the seatbelt and stood up abruptly. He spotted Forman and Thirteen a few rows in front of Cuddy and was careful not to draw their attention as he stepped up behind Cuddy. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped as soon as she felt him near her.

"I need to talk to you," he said. They both glanced over at House who was still fast asleep. Cuddy felt herself tense, as she always did around him lately, but she unbuckled and stood up, pushing past him and then grabbing his arm and leading him to the back of the plane.

"This couldn't have waited until we were on the ground and alone?" She asked him.

Chase took a hesitant step back and looked down at the ground between them. "What did you say to Cameron?"

Cuddy held back a breath and shook her head. "I didn't say anything," she said. "She already knew."

"Does House?"

Cuddy shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."

Chase looked up and found her nervous eyes. "I guess your relationship is safe then." Cuddy narrowed her brow and opened her mouth, but the door behind them swung open and an older woman stepped out, slightly annoyed at them for blocking the path and pushed past them. Cuddy grabbed Chase's arm and pulled him into the bathroom then locked the door behind them.

"I didn't want to hurt you," she said. "It's the last thing I wanted; but what did you think was gonna happen? We could never have anything, not really. And Cameron—"

"This has nothing to do with Cameron. She never loved me like I thought she did, and it would've ended sooner or later anyways." Chase reached for her, and to his surprise, Cuddy didn't pull away from him, but instead allowed him to pull her close and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sure this difficult for you too."

Cuddy shook her head. "I tried to tell myself I was being stupid, because I hadn't really lost anything. But I have to fight to make things okay with him every single day, all the time. It was so easy with you." They were both quiet for a long time and then Cuddy brushed a tear off her cheek and pulled away from him. "I guess it is easy for things to be so simple when there's no hope for any kind of future, huh?"

Chase shook his head. "I think you are making this more complicated than it needs to be." He knew he had offended her but he smiled slightly and squeezed her hand. "I get it," he said. "You care about him and you have a family with him and you don't want to hurt either of them."

"I don't want to hurt you either," she said.

Chase shrugged. "What did you think would happen?" He asked echoing her earlier question. When she didn't answer Chase ran an hand over her hair and smiled. "I still want you. And when you figure out that what you have with him isn't real that it's built on something that doesn't exist anymore, you'll come back."

Cuddy brushed his hand away. "I wouldn't count on it," she said, her voice suddenly cold and stony. "You don't really expect me to forget 20 years with him after a one night stand, do you?"

Chase opened his mouth to answer her but she wasn't hearing it. She spun around and opened the door slamming it behind her before Chase could follow. House stirred slightly when she slipped back into her seat but he didn't open his eyes. She stared at him and Rachel and how content they both looked then. She shook her head and bit down on the inside of her cheek in order to suppress tears that she felt gathering deep in her throat. She closed her eyes.

_What a bitch you are_, she told herself. The voice in her head was as harsh as she had been to Chase just then and it felt like a bomb had exploded in her heart. What kind of a person does this? What kind of a person finally gets the love of her life and pisses it away? What kind of a person would use someone so cruelly? Was she more upset over House or Chase, she couldn't decide. Or perhaps she was being selfish again because she knew that sooner or later this would all fall apart and she'd lose them both.

She heard the bathroom door open and close. Chase walked down the aisle toward her but stopped a couple of rows back and sat down. She felt his eyes on her. She held her breath and chanced a look back at him. What she saw was the unapologetic arrogant smirk of a plan in motion. She recognized it on Chase because she'd seen on nearly identical on House more times than she could count. She looked away from him and tensed, almost jumped, and House reached over the armrest and laced his fingers through hers.

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**TBC...**


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